Kobe Bryant’s death last January put the world in a state of overwhelming grief. Anecdotes from fans poured in, sharing how they embedded his games into their daily routines. This was also the case during the sudden passing of Michael Jackson, Cory Monteith, and Robin Williams, among many others. Unaffected outsiders could be quick to judge and ask, “How could they mourn for someone who wasn’t a part of their everyday lives?” But they all were, in more ways than one.

It’s normal for us to grieve because these stars have technically “been there with us” during the highlights of our lives. Friends and lovers could come and go, but the impact an icon has on us could transcend time, space, and logic, making them seem subconsciously immortal. Therapist and grief counselor Jill Gross says it best: “They’re never supposed to die, and they’re always 25 in our heads. When they die, a little part of us dies too—our innocence dies with them.”

During times like these, it’s best to just be there for one another. We are all tied together by the universal experience of grief, heartbreak, and admiration for someone who we once thought was larger than life. Acknowledge that the pain is there; it hurts, and it will linger. Seek assistance, if need be. You’ll be surprised at how many outstretched hands are there once you look.