CONVERSATIONS ABOUT life and death and what lies beyond them are not uncommon, but what I have always dreaded more is the possibility that this life is all there is. Human life is so short that we are often encouraged to make something meaningful out of it while we still can.
Recently, this thought has kept me up on numerous nights, prompting me to look back on my life and the aspirations that led me to where I am now.
Since I was young, I have always had big dreams for myself. I imagined a future where I excelled academically and built a successful career around something I was deeply passionate about.
I would also daydream about what my life would be like in 10 years and create versions of myself that I found as “ideal.” At the time, these future possibilities would drive me to do well in school.
As I progressed academically, those dreams gradually became more specific, and I began shaping my path around the future I had imagined for myself. But somewhere along the way, the ideal version I had envisioned of myself stopped inspiring me and started to feel like a hurdle I could not overcome.
College was probably the first time I truly felt this. Academic setbacks forced me to confront the uncomfortable reality that effort does not always translate to the guaranteed outcome that I want.
Having always tied academic performance to success, struggling felt destabilizing. More than the lower marks or difficult courses, it was realizing that the path I once felt sure of no longer seemed certain.
Eventually, I found myself shifting out of the program I once dreamed about, and for the first time, I felt like my life was diverging from the blueprint I had planned so carefully in my head.
At one point, I found myself asking, “Am I making my younger self proud?” In search of an answer, realizations hit me. The dreams that once inspired me turned into nightmares that haunted my very being.
We often talk about the pressure that other people and the world place on us, yet we rarely acknowledge the pressure we place on ourselves. Sometimes, we become so used to carrying it that we no longer even recognize it as pressure at all.
When we become too attached to an ideal, every misalignment from it begins to feel like failure. As our current selves continue carrying standards set by our younger selves—who never truly understood the unpredictability of life—we end up mourning the people we thought we would become in a never-ending cycle of chasing unreachable expectations.
As I stand between youth and adulthood, I begin to understand that perhaps what we must learn most is how to be kinder to ourselves. Life will not always unfold the way we imagined it would, but that does not make the present any less worthy of appreciation.
Maybe the goal is not to perfectly become who we once imagined, but to continue moving forward with the hope that one day, we will still be proud of the lives we ended up living.
Carmelo is a Diplomacy and International Relations junior minoring in International Business, expecting to graduate in 2027. With his interest in politics and the human experiences that shape them, he advocates for open dialogue and transparent systems in an increasingly complex world.
Editor’s Note: The views and opinions expressed by the opinion writer do not necessarily state or reflect those of the publication.
