It has been months since we had a decent conversation. Scrolling back through our old conversations, I saw that the timestamps were further apart and the messages were shorter. Years of memories were slowly fading away. Alas, the strong connection that we once had was gone. At that moment, it was time to ask the question that I have been dreading my whole life. 

The phrase “let it go” has baffled me for ages because I did not know what it meant or exactly how to do it. I have to admit–I never liked the idea of dumping my best friend because I always hoped that we could fix the problem no matter what. She was a person and not an object that I could throw away.

Needless to say, I was clueless about what my future would be without my best friend guiding me. She was my light and support. In fact, I needed her more than she needed me.

Born in a family of lawyers and engineers, I was raised into a culture of certainty. Every crossroad that I stumbled upon had an optimal solution for me to take. Logic would dictate that I should discard the friendship, but my heart said otherwise.

While waiting for her replies, a part of me craved for attention. Since I was not receiving anything from her, I was forced to socialize. It was tough to start conversations, especially for an introverted geek like myself. Some stayed as acquaintances, but others became friends. We shared new experiences and shed a few tears. Slowly, they filled a gap and provided what I was yearning for: Love and acceptance.

Meeting new people made me realize that letting go is an invitation to surrender unhealthy relationships. Nothing was more convenient than making a conscious effort to free toxic attachments so that I could spend my life with people who treasure me the same way I do. Letting go meant accepting inevitable realities in life so that I could stop holding on to problematic issues. In other words, I learned to accept “what is” and let go of “what was.”

It was difficult to walk away from a relationship that I was accustomed to; I wanted security and assurance, and cutting ties with her was not a clear way to achieve those. Although it was painful, I let her go. I had to find my light and support myself.

It was quite hard to move on, but once I started trying, I slowly felt the emotional tension loosen from my shoulders. Instead of feeling down and blue, I just felt glee with the new people I met. I felt better once again. 

Life is short, after all. There are so many dreams and opportunities that are waiting to unfold. Maybe we were not meant to last, but it does not mean that I should not try something new.

Looking back at these things, I am quite sure that I made the right choice.