I am a workaholic. I thrive on the feeling of doing something productive with my time, and having to-do lists chock-full of deliverables. Filling up my schedule with several commitments helps me gain a sense of order. My friends have looked at my resume in awe, with envy, or both, and I pride myself in my multiple extracurriculars.

But, sometimes, I don’t know when to stop.

I have an unhealthy obsession for building up my resume. Last semester, I took on commitment after commitment and unreservedly burned myself out. Nothing attracted me more than an invitation to apply for an org project or an internship, and I was definitely biting off more than I could chew. I struggled to balance my majors alongside several demands I had to meet in my different orgs. My best friend and I stopped talking a few months ago, and my instinctive response was to throw myself into my work so I wouldn’t have the time or energy to be sad about it.

I had this mindset that as long as everything I worked on was of resume value, the fatigue would be worth it. But it wasn’t.

My skin broke out terribly due to the accumulated stress. I didn’t have the money to afford skincare products to treat my acne, nor did I have the time to cover them up with makeup every day. I applied for an internship during the semester, and my internship boss told me he was disappointed with the lack of output I was producing. My blockmates would worry about how much sleep I was getting and witnessed me nod off in class completely from being awake for so long.

Granted, I made it out of the semester with a decent QPI, but by the time my friends and family congratulated me for passing with flying colors, I had just finished crawling my way to the finish line, bruised and beaten. As the saying goes, “My arms were too tired to hold the prize.”

Nowadays, the common Atenean’s notion of magis—more—has been grotesquely romanticized. Sleeplessness is treated as a badge of honor. We compete on the number of coffees we down in a day and the number of deadlines we have to meet in a week. We’re surrounded with so many accomplished people that many of us feel the need to push ourselves beyond our limits just to keep up.

Exhausted and frustrated, I decided I would take a break once summer rolled in. It seemed like it made sense—people go on sabbaticals from work, celebrities go on hiatus, even God rested once. Nothing in nature blooms all year long, so why should I expect myself to?

I took a break, but it took a while to get used to. I promised myself I wouldn’t take on any new commitments over the summer, but when I got offered different opportunities through Facebook groups, it took every fiber of my being to say no. It was difficult, but I declined the offers and told them I was taking the time off to rest. They completely understood and respected my decision.

Initially, I also felt like I was wasting my free time. After a while, however, I noticed I was happier. I had more time for my friends and family. I had more time for myself. Time you enjoy resting is not wasted time.

The first semester recently rolled in, and I’ve finished taking my break. I’m trying my best not to fall into the same traps. More often than not, we forget that recovery is an integral part of succeeding.