Word Nerd
jpalma@theguidon.com

Look ahead. Can you make it out? Squint if you have to. There it is.

There. Your future.

To tell you the truth, I was never really good at mapping out a palpable future. Then again, has looking forward to something ever been that dependable and within my grasp? I can, however, look forward to the fact that I will always fit into my PE shorts from prep. That’s right: PE shorts = constant. Tell your friends.

But lest I digress even further into the peculiarities (i.e. my PE shorts postulate) of this column for the next ten months, let’s go back to the topic at hand: the world has its bigness and my life has its future. It’s hard to believe that what separates Real Life from myself is nothing but a thin membrane of a year. By any collegiate life’s standards, I’m practically an octogenarian already (why do you think they call it “senior year?”) For your information, people who see me in person don’t think I look a day over fourteen.

Too late. I digressed.

Call me a pessimist but the bigness of the world is downright frightening – a bigness so vast and so heavy that it’s a wonder how a mere year can come between recklessness and responsibility. Nearing sixteen years of sheltered academic rigors, it’s almost unbelievable that sweating flagons every June will come to an end. Things transpired so quickly; the idea that I didn’t notice it is staggeringly scary.

I don’t mean to pre-empt senoritis, that virulent illness typical of those in my shoes. For all intents and purposes, don’t take this as an appeal to your more sentimental faculties. I admit, the previous paragraphs could be interpreted as such. Let’s postpone waterworks and the whining for February. There’s no use in problematizing our future former glories. Just read those last three words. Can there be a consortium of words more preposterous, more paradoxical than that?

I’m not trying to scare you either. The frightening bigness is just something I wanted to highlight as a turning point in my studenthood. Think of it as a personal Eureka moment of sorts. And this is coming from someone who hasn’t figured it all out. Yet something tells me I just have to rant to somebody about what essentially to this day gives me the butterflies.

Any economics book will tell you that land, labor, and capital are factors which produce things of value. In my opinion, they miss out on the integral function and invisible importance of time. In a world of multiple paths, the only non-arbitrary factor is time. It is constant and unrelenting yet scarcer than that awesome iPad you wanted to order. The world is in flux and the gears are in motion.

Strangely, being the designated octogenarian comes with its advantages. Proudly now: I’m a senior so I know the campus backwards. I’m a senior so I have a feel for the pedagogical landscape (Ask me who to take for Th131.) But most importantly, I’m a senior so you’ll do as I say (and I promise it will only be this once): hit the pause button real quick and take a…

Look ahead. Can you make it out? Squint if you have to. Got it? There it is.

There. Your future.