It is no secret that my usual motivation for leadership is anger.
This fact is true for the org positions I accepted and even for any other project that I had the gall to head. For one, I absolutely hated the Sanggunian Central Assembly and the Career and Internship Fair of the Development Society of the Ateneo (DevSoc). I also found the Office of Placement and Career Services (OPCS) Student Arm really unbearable, especially the IPAD and the Career Fair. Moreover, I hated TALAB and COA RecWeek—and of course, most especially, I resented the Council of Organizations of the Ateneo – Manila (COA-M). Despite such feelings, these were the projects and organizations I truly worked the hardest in.
Prior to running as president of COA-M, I had to wait for a specific kind of motivation. I distinctly remember a conversation I had with a friend along SEC Walk where I said something along the lines of, “Hindi pa ako pwedeng tumakbo sa COA, hindi pa ako nagagalit, kailangan magalit muna ako” (I can’t run for COA yet, I’m not yet angry, I need to be angry first).
For a moment in time, I had yet to identify what was wrong; I had yet to find the organization—problematic or faulty. After having been in love with COA-M for years, how can I now break these rose-colored glasses and spit on something I really love? How can I turn my back on them and provide an exposé of their problems? Because that is what platforms are, aren’t they? They are an exposé of the problems and the determined solutions.
Clearly, I eventually hated COA-M strongly enough to run the campaign. It was not to say the previous terms were objectively wrong; it just had to be subjectively wrong for me.
In my course Development Studies, we learn about the problems of the world but we do not stop at complaining about them. The anger needs to spiral into clearly outlined problems, specified causes, and a plethora of possibilities of what could have been’s and what could be’s until they finally become plans for development. Because in fact, we are angry at something because we know it could be better.
I am a resident complainer about everything—from project names to project implementation, dates, promotions, spiels, and anything under the sun. Yes, we go to lengths to identify what the problems are but it cannot stop there. What comes next is more difficult: We have to translate that anger into love. We have to imagine and identify how to make it better and commit ourselves to bringing those imaginations into reality.
The best leaders are the type of people who have the capacity to hate our organizations so deeply because no one else believes in their missed opportunities and untapped capabilities more than we do. And so, notice how many Sanggunian officers hate Sanggu so much.
Again, it cannot stop with hatred. We lay out ideas of how something can be better than it already is, and we bring these plans into reality. We elect our leaders because we believe in their theory for change, we believe in their capacity to imagine something better and to actually make it happen. A lot of the current org leaders share this belief.
Our August slipped away into multiple Katipunan dinners that lasted up to 4 AM with nothing but endless yapping about the complaints we have of the past and the dreams we have for the future. Jollibee, KFC, Shakey’s and McDo Katipunan, Xavierville, Pop Up, Ababu, Army Navy, MVP, IRH Canteen, Hyundai Hall’s backstage, and the halls of Kostka have heard the many stories of our intense hate and even stronger love for our organizations.
Amid such feelings, I am happy to be surrounded by the strong anger and strong love that all of these new leaders have for their organizations. And I am looking forward to what extent of love they will bring out of their anger.
Kayla is an AB Development Studies senior specializing in Development Management and Development and the Law. Most of her time in the Ateneo has been dedicated to org work, which she deems to be actually very useful for her future where she plans to do project management, at least that is what she tells herself.
Editor’s Note: The views and opinions expressed by the opinion writer do not necessarily state or reflect those of the publication.
