MY YOUNGER brother, Franki, was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) at an early age of 2. My family and I have always been in awe of his special abilities. He memorizes places—despite only having visited them once—like the back of his hand. He is precise and organized with the most minuscule things, such as ensuring that sandals are separate from sneakers on our shoe rack. He even knows how to hold his breath underwater for what feels like ages. On the one hand, these are just some of what makes him special.
On the other hand, Franki is nonverbal. At 21 years old, he still has not properly spoken a single word even after years of continued speech therapy. Nonetheless, this brought a unique dynamic to our family, as we learned to connect with him in ways that extend beyond words. Franki developed his own version of sign language, which lets us form a bond that transcends the limitations of verbal communication.
Franki is also more expressive than a typical 21-year-old would be. At this age, he never fails to kiss me on the cheek when he sees me feeling down. After getting into mischief, like spilling an entire bottle of brand-new shampoo, he also knows to endearingly lambing to his advantage when he kisses and hugs our parents.
With Franki, life at home has always been unconventional. The responsibility of growing up with a special needs brother has always been a challenge, especially when I was too young to fully understand his situation. Having to acknowledge that his needs always came first, acceptance did not come as quickly as I had hoped. As a kid, I learned the hard way that wanting new basketball shoes or a video game was no longer that important. I also dealt with emotions and anxiety that most 7-year-old kids would never experience.
I realized that growing up alongside Franki made me mature faster than I should have. While other people in their early twenties would go see different movies at theaters with their siblings, I would be in charge of watching Alvin and the Chipmunks (2007) over and over again, every day, at home with Franki. Despite how tiresome it may get watching the same movie repeatedly, what keeps me going is his infectious joy and laughter each time he watches it; a heartwarming reminder of the simple pleasures in life and the strong bond we share.
At a young age, I was also exposed to the reality that not everyone would see him the way I do; people would always stare and whisper whenever he threw a tantrum in public. Nevertheless, these experiences have shaped me into someone who understands the true meaning of love, patience, and family, withstanding anything even times of difficulty.
It has been tough, but Franki and I were never alone. Our parents have been our rock through thick and thin, and their unwavering love and dedication have helped us grow into young adults with immense respect and gratitude for each other. Their dynamics in nurturing us were founded on unconditional love and patience. They always tried to strike a balance between attending to Franki’s needs and ensuring I never felt neglected or less important.
While the unpredictability at times looms large for me and my family, Franki has made it easier by teaching us that life’s beauty often lies in its uncertainty. Despite it all, Franki has shown us how to find glimmers of love and hope even when things do not go as planned.
France is an Information Design senior at the Ateneo de Manila University, expecting to graduate in 2024. With a passion for design and photojournalism, he is committed to making a positive impact through his creative endeavors and is eager to continue exploring new avenues for storytelling.
Editor’s Note: The views and opinions expressed by the opinion writer do not necessarily state or reflect those of the publication.
