The parameters need to be defined first. A geek is simply a person who is eccentric and learned about something. Granted, talk is cheap; but this guide is going to make you feel like a million bucks—or at least, that new friend of yours will probably earn that much. Once we all realize that the only thing separating one person to the next is a little courage and wit, talking to that person wouldn’t be a chore at all.

True, they have an excellent command of most things average people wouldn’t spend time on, but deep  down they’re social beings as well, maybe just someone more adept to the concept of singularity. So fulfill that cliché of making the world a better place by talking to your geek friends today—and hey, we’re already giving you the upper hand.

Starting the Conversation

Cookie-cutter way of introducing oneself: A good “hello, how are you?”

Or, if you’re feeling adventurous at the time: you can always go with some Ol’ English, as in, “hullo there, I knew naught of you, how now?”

What to Talk About

Polite and generic topic: Something universal like, say, the weather.

A more effective topic: Go ahead and find out the what the person’s interests are. Detect some common ground.

Contingency topic: Go with whatever the other person wants to talk about.

If it’s still going bad: Talk about your interests.

Still downhill? You can go ahead and talk about the weather.

Failing

There’s nothing worse in a conversation than dead air. You could always do this thing called joking, maybe even meta-joking. It may turn any social blunder into something less awkward when used right. To demonstrate:

You: “So what are your hobbies?”

The Other Dude: “I collect rocks but my bigger interest is cataloguing and indexing my collection. Do you happen to know anything about that?”

You: “I don’t, actually”

……..awkward silence……..

You: “Well, there goes that conversation” (laughter)

And hopefully, here is where both of you would laugh. Hopefully.

If that fails, just keep going. There’s nothing to lose at this point. Because now we know that there is something worse than dead air, and that’s dead air after a bad joke. So it would go something like this:

You: “I don’t, actually”

……..awkward silence……..

You: “Well, there goes that conversation” (laughter)

…….. still awkward silence……..

You: “Well, so much for that joke.” (lighter laughter)

…….. deafening silence……..

You: “Uh, so much for my attempts at making conversation.” (forced laughter)

Golden rule: If you don’t know, show some interest and ask. Finding out about the person’s interests may or may not be a great thing to talk about but hey, at least you’re finally talking.

In Closing

Closing a conversation shouldn’t be half-assed. Think of it as a parachute. If you don’t fold and close it right after use, the next time it could malfunction and you may die. Now that is exactly the kind of bad metaphor describing a bad conversation you want to bail out of. Remember to do three things:

Break the talk slowly. You wouldn’t want to cut the other person off mid sentence to say that you want to leave.

Thank the person profusely on the things you’ve found out or heard for the first time. If you’ve been following this semi-guide then most probably the other guy did most of the talking. Even though it might have been confusing majority of the time, one must have tact and part nicely.

Make your farewell memorable. It’s like seeing an awesome trailer but the movie was lame; the build up was great, but the climax and the conclusion ruined the entire thing. Say something like “good luck in life, and twice-fold for your mother.” If the pleasantries fall back to an infinite regress (alright man, see you/ yeah man, take care/ yeah man, you too/ alright man, thanks…), revert back to number one.