EVER SINCE I was young, I have always looked forward to Christmas. There was something about the twinkling lights everywhere and cold weather that albeit felt warm to me.
There’s this one place in particular that I find myself always drawn to during this time of the year, and it was my city’s plaza; Plaza Mabini, for those Batangas natives. The plaza is situated in the middle of most major establishments in our city. It’s right in front of the city hall, one of the city’s oldest churches, and is practically a quick three-minute walk from my old elementary and high school.
What I loved about it was that during this time of year, the plaza was like our own local Disneyland.
Lights could be seen everywhere—hung on trees, along railings, and in various Christmas props and decor. Each shining and shimmering light made me forget about all the negative things that have happened during the months past within the year. All that I could think of was being in that moment in time, nothing more.
Maybe it was the nostalgia factor of it all, but there was just something about that place around this time that made me feel like a carefree child again.
People say going back to places can bring back old memories, and for me, there is no lie in that saying. I may be 20 years old and sitting on a park bench in silence, but as I look around the area, a never-ending flood of memories would wash over me.
I look at the well-lit slide on the corner, near the big pink lollipop light, and I see myself back in elementary—waiting in line for the Vikings ride with my sixth grade classmates. I remember the shaking of my knees when my classmates and worrying about how we needed to run fast enough back to our school’s waiting area before we would get picked up.
When I look at the plaza’s glittering fairy lights along the flower shops right in front, near the church, I remember the swarm of boys from my school buying their last-minute Christmas or Valentine’s gifts during the holidays; the innocence of puppy love blooming alongside each sale.
Even after moving to a completely different city for the latter part of my high school life, I still went and sought out for that specific plaza during Christmas.
That plaza, especially during Christmas time, grew to become my happy place. I found solace knowing that there was somewhere I could always find myself going back to when life felt all too much.
On my most recent visit, I only had time to pass by and not stay for longer. Maybe it was something about the serenity given by the yuletide, but my entire mind had its stellar focus just on the bright lights that surrounded me and nothing else.
I have always found the month of December daunting as it always symbolized a type of closure to me. During the week after Christmas and before New Year, I usually take some time to reflect. Years may pass and I may age, but the regular fleeting feeling of carelessness my inner child has is reignited when I sit down at the plaza and look at the lights.
I like acknowledging my past and where I came from more than anything else. Looking back on who I was helped me recognize who I am becoming now.
I have always heard my older relatives say that my generation is growing up too fast, and I see it with myself too. I am just in my second year of college, but I am already thinking of my career and life post-graduation while working countless internships and doing various organizational work. It does feel too grown-up sometimes.
I am still a child at heart, and am not at all ashamed of it. People nowadays are too excited with the idea of growing up, becoming an adult, and accomplishing what they need to, almost like running on a ticking clock.
Sitting down at the plaza with all of the decorations sparkling at me has consistently shown me that it’s not bad to let your inner child roam free sometimes.
Taking time to sit back, reflect, and just look at the bright lights is a practice of self-care and self-evaluation I don’t plan on removing from my routine. Life may become chaotic, but there is always a brighter and lighter side to things.
Maria Sophia Andrea E. Rosello (2 AB COM) is a Social Media staffer of The GUIDON. You may contact her at maria.rosello@obf.ateneo.edu.
