WITH A newspaper and magnifying glass at hand, my adolescent self eagerly ran outside of the tailor shop to make fire from the glittering sunlight. At first, my tiny hands were shaking as I held the glass to direct the sun’s heat to the paper. However, as the fire finally began to grow, not only did it create a huge smile on my face, it also evoked something special: The sound of my grandfather’s laughter.
Whenever I reminisce this day, I remember the love that my grandfather showed for my siblings and me throughout our childhood. His grandchildren mattered to him the most, and he would do everything to make sure that by the end of the day, we felt complete.
As I continue to look back on his loving presence, I begin to realize how his joy and selflessness in my childhood reflect the person I am today, especially through the conversations I had lately with others.
Recently, I have been calling my blockmates to catch up with our lives and recall memories from our freshman year—especially since we have not seen each other for months due to the lockdown. During moments when I laughed from nostalgia, I would sometimes think about how similar my grandfather’s laughter is with mine.
When I remembered his laughter from my childish antics in his shop, it reminded me of one thing we had in common: We had a knack for laughing straight out of our guts! Even if this is just a small detail, it shows how I continue to live vicariously through his happiness. As I continued to reflect, however, I realized that he left with me a bigger value that is beyond laughter alone.
Especially with the heart-to-heart conversations I had with my closest friends, there are times when it was hard to be happy. Admittedly, all of us are continuing to fight our battles in a quarantine that constantly drains our spirits. Whenever these inner conflicts become too much, the only thing to do is call out for help, and that is where this value resides.
In these desperate times, I have tried my best to connect with them. No matter how messy my days were, what always mattered to me was that they had someone who heard and understood them. These moments—called empathy—would not have happened without my grandfather.
When my siblings and I stayed in his house as kids, he always observed how enthusiastic we were as we playfully ran around his front yard. With his effort, he spent weeks preparing a gift that would make our stay around his yard more enjoyable: A swing. By the time we saw this pleasant surprise, we felt even more loved. After all, that’s what my grandfather wanted, and it is what I want for the people I continue to cherish every day.
With all the appreciation and joy that my grandfather brought upon my childhood, I still think about him. Even if we are far apart, he left me something that will never be taken away from me: A growing fire that continues to make me feel whole. For the people I know, I wish they hold on to the person who brings this fire into their hearts.
