“One medium cappuccino for hot, please. Also, may I have the Wi-Fi password?”
With slight panic stirring inside of me, I ordered a cup to keep my eyes open. The baristas knew my name; it was the sixth night of the week that I had stayed until the closing time of two o’clock in the morning.
Words after numbers, I typed my academic requirements away. I was going to make it in time for the deadline. With minimal relief, I opened Facebook to take a short break. To no surprise, I was haunted by 14 message notifications—more than half for group works and extra-curricular activities. One chat group was halfway into the outline discussion and the other group was three-fourths into the conceptualization of a video.
“Hell week will be over soon,” the line was engraved in my head from the constant uttering in order to assure myself that my well-deserved break was on the way.
On the night before my flight to Hong Kong during the week-long ASEAN break, I was not excited while packing my best outfits. Instead, I found myself packing the leftover individual and group essays I had to accomplish.
Three hours before I left the house, I was still working. There was a distinct heaviness in my chest. However, I understood that there was no time to take a deep breath and contemplate on my well-being. My groupmates needed my part for the essay, and I had my own individual papers to worry about. The others were working harder and there was no excuse for me to “rest.”
With one hour of sleep that came with guilt, I flew to Hong Kong.
This made me question: Where do we draw the line between “hardworking” and “overworking?” Are students expected to make time for recovery in-between deadlines, only to be smashed into pieces once more?
According to a study on stress levels of college students, different factors play a role in the mental states of students. Academic pressure affects the stability of students, however, one must take into consideration that emotional and financial stress also play a significant role. These two factors come hand-in-hand with academic frustration, affecting one’s emotional state and causing feelings of loneliness and lack of confidence.
I do agree that other factors aside from academic requirements are pushing me to the edge. My frustration with finance and social relationships is countless.
After weeks of typing, downloading, submitting requirements, and attempting to catch up with friends and family, it is safe to say that I have forgotten about the most important part of being human: Self-care. It is one thing that I have always struggled with.
I still find it difficult to lead myself to lay on bed with a television series waiting to be binge-watched. It is also no easy task to work on passion projects without feeling the guilt from deliverables glaring right at me. It is a constant battle between guilt and relief.
Perhaps it is time to take a deep breath and remind myself to not only take care of myself, but also to look at the entirety of college life as the big painting. It is time to trace back to the reason why I am in college: To remind myself that I am here for passion and I need to set my priorities straight.
