With every swipe from left or right, single parents are rediscovering love in online avenues—one match at a time.

DATING FOR single parents in the Philippines has operated behind the shadow of stigma, existing in a society with deep-rooted conservatism. Single parents often face a culture that equates ideal parenthood with sacrifices defined by the denial of happiness, just to be seen as devoted to their children’s welfare.

However, as society progresses, dating sites are becoming spaces for single parents to find romance, openness, and support.

Verifying your profile 

After a long-distance relationship that left her disappointed, Carol Trejo, 52, spent 11 years being a single mother before meeting her current husband, Philip, on FilipinoCupid.

Prior to meeting Philip, Trejo raised her now 32-year-old son, Christian, who remained in the Philippines with his biological father when they separated. At present, Trejo lives in Michigan with Philip, but she describes her relationship with Christian as rather harmonious despite the distance.

A few profiles away, Princess*, a 43-year-old single mother of two, embraces a fresh start after her children’s father cheated with the godmother of her daughter. Still, she refuses to be defined by her past.

“Nasa akin pa rin ang huling halakhak (The final laugh belongs to me),” she says, laughing about the mishaps of the involved parties, particularly the paramour of her children’s father, who eventually became destitute. 

Princess maintains a tight relationship with her two daughters. She accompanies her eldest to parties and involves the younger in her dating life, asking for comments on the physical appearance of her matches.

Despite carrying scars of heartbreak, the thought of sharing their happiness with someone was always in the back of Princess and Trejo’s minds, and it was curiosity that pushed them to find new connections.

New connection found

These two women have experienced the ups and downs of life, love, and relationships. However, their past did not stop them from taking a leap of faith into the world of online dating.

In 2021, Trejo met Philip. Despite connecting online, their relationship developed swiftly, calling each other at least twice a day.

As Trejo got to know Philip within one year before getting married, she admitted that they might have moved a little too fast. A part of her questioned her partner’s motives, worried she would be hurt again.

“Dahil matagal ka [nang] single, mas alam mo ‘yung sarili mo. Ayaw mo masaktan. Yung LDR, mag-iisip ka rin, ‘Totoo ba yung sinasabi [ng taong ‘to]?’” she articulates.

(Since you’ve been single for so long, you already know yourself. You don’t want to get hurt. Having a long-distance relationship also makes you think: “Are they telling the truth?”)

These doubts also capture the experience of Princess, who had been single for a while until a friend encouraged her to try online dating and to create an account on OkCupid.

“Even if I have my family and friends with me, sometimes [I still] feel incomplete. Gusto ko [rin] naman kiligin (I also want to feel giddy and excited),” she expresses.

Princess entered the dating site with the intention of finding a foreigner, so when her eyes led her to a man who looked like he came right out of a K-drama, she made the move.

After exchanging messages, she was surprised to learn that the man was not a K-drama look-alike, but a scammer. According to Princess, he admitted that he was deceived and forcibly sent to a “fraud factory” where many schemes like romance fraud are initiated. These scammers infiltrate dating sites by creating fake identities and messaging potential users.

As single parents with more experience and reservations, these circumstances can make online dating feel daunting. Trejo recalls how she initially did not mention that she got into online dating to her son, not wanting him to be involved if ever something unfavorable happens.

In contrast, Princess kept her children involved by allowing them to build a sense of security together. Likewise, she treated those she met as light exchanges rather than a high-stakes situation.

Match or unmatch?

Even so, Princess acknowledged that talking to people online triggers her trust issues. Nevertheless, she is grateful to have supportive loved ones by her side to ground her and listen to all her stories.

Like Princess, Trejo’s family and friends were not too trusting of Philip at first. She recalls her son being overwhelmed by someone new coming into their lives at first. She also notes that her friends felt the need to do a “background check” on Philip before the wedding.

After reflection, Trejo advises those considering online dating to take the leap, but remain cautious. For her, this means knowing one’s worth before pursuing a relationship. Social media is a space for love and deception. Being a single parent adds a layer of concern as one has to consider how their choices can affect their children and loved ones.

However, just like everyone else, single parents long for happiness. Their journey—as parents, friends, lovers, brimming with hope and curiosity—makes up who they are as individuals, carefully navigating what society has to offer.

*Editor’s Note: The interviewee’s name has been changed at their request to protect their identity and privacy