Sometimes I worry I’m too ‘woke,’ too critical of the double standards I see everywhere. Yet, when my male peers still cannot fathom that women can be the primary providers for their families, I realize there’s never been a better time to be “awake.”
I used to brush off things like these; worse, I’d unintentionally contribute to the problem myself. Back then, I’d either ignore it or play along. However, one dinner party changed my perspective. It awakened a part of me that stands up, not just for myself, but for the principles I’d forgotten I value.
One evening, over wine with a group of accomplished, humble women, someone asked, “What’s one struggle you face in your field as a woman?” I listened as they shared stories of being overlooked, dismissed as “too emotional,” and other stereotypes I thought were long gone by now.
I realized just how out of touch I’d been. When it was my turn, I found myself starting with, “I don’t know if I experience this because I’m a woman…” and shared how, in one meeting, I supported a suggestion with facts and expertise, only to be ignored. In contrast, a word from my male colleague moved mountains.
That’s when these remarkable women helped me recognize a pattern I had not fully acknowledged. Women get disrespected constantly and subtly, to the point that we second-guess ourselves. At that moment, I knew I needed to find the courage to be more assertive and call out these situations as they happen.
Not long after, I put that assertiveness to the test in a casual conversation with another set of friends. Unprovoked, one mentioned that he would not be comfortable if his wife earned more than him. In response, I told him plainly, “That’s sexist.”
I respect anyone’s desire to provide, but being a provider should not be relative to your partner’s salary, regardless of gender or sexuality. It’s not a competition. No one needs anyone telling them there is a limit to who they can be—and I especially cannot stand it when that limit is imposed on women.
I know many women whose relationships fell apart because their success threatened their partners. Many are still expected to wash the dishes while men play games. You don’t need to be a pop culture fan to notice how often women get pitted against each other while a cheating boyfriend escapes unscathed.
The saddest part is how normalized these experiences are. Sexism is so deeply ingrained in our systems that even if we step back, we often fail to see anything wrong. I bet many would still get butterflies if a man told them, “I’ll work while you can be the woman of the house.”
On the other hand, maybe I’m just a senior, growing anxious about the reality that managers in the corporate world are still predominantly men. Worse, there remains a chance that no matter how good I might be, I might still end up as just the “one woman” they hired to check off a box in the corporate responsibility clause.
That’s why we need to challenge these doubts and norms. It’s time to confront the convergence of sexism and the city and push beyond it.
Arianne is a Management Information Systems student, specializing in Data Science and Analytics, with a minor in Project Management. As a proud woman in business and tech, she is dedicated to excelling in these male-dominated fields while pursuing her passion for journalism.
Editor’s Note: The views and opinions expressed by the opinion writer do not necessarily state or reflect those of the publication.
