AS A freshman, it was exciting to see the hustle and bustle of org life. There were many opportunities to be part of different organizations and their projects. They were avenues for me to see what I can give and contribute to their advocacies.

I immersed myself in the different org activities that were offered. I even took positions as soon as I had the chance to. Those experiences gave me a lot of insights into how these orgs functioned, taught me how to deal with problems with empathy and perspective, as well as introduced me to friendships that went beyond our work.

To put it simply, the org life was fun. It became a source of enjoyment for me, thinking that I would continue doing this until I graduated. But there came a point that the enthusiasm I had at the beginning no longer translated to what I was putting out, with complacency on deliverables, half-baked outputs, and overall lack of passion. It would have been obvious to someone that my org life was no longer a happy place, yet I continued to ignore the many red flags that have appeared down that road.

It had come down to the quarantine that made me realize that I no longer enjoyed what I was doing. A question always kept coming to mind: Was I doing it for the genuine betterment of the org and its projects, or was I doing it just so I could say that I did? I realized that I had joined orgs to prove something to others, and no longer to myself. I struggled to accept this as fact, and had to learn this the hard way.

As much as I told myself over and over that I still had a lot to give, I knew that there would be others who were much more capable of giving the same passion and drive as I did. I’ve already had my time to give and to give, now it’s the turn of others to do so.

As a senior in Ateneo, I tried giving the freshman in me another chance at enjoying the org life without much responsibility. I never thought that I’d say that I once again enjoyed being part of orgs, with the perspectives and experiences that I was still able to apply. To anyone who doubts that they have not made any real impact with their efforts, know this: Whether you’ve made the smallest dent or the largest impact, know that you did something, and that is something you should be proud of.

Matthew Yuching (4 AB COM) is an Externals Staffer for The GUIDON.