I won’t deny that my favorite part about being a woman is the extra fuss we give about dressing up. I love mixing and matching clothes and experimenting on color palettes. Cute little dresses and tops make me giddy.
There is nothing quite like the freedom of choosing the clothes that make you look and feel good about yourself. Sometimes, all it takes is putting on your favorite dress, or your most comfortable pair of shorts, and the world suddenly becomes a whole lot easier to face.
Unfortunately, there are times when dressing up the way you want tends to backfire.
Our sexist society has turned women’s clothing into an invitation for sexual harassment. What was once our armor, meant to exude confidence and beauty, has now made us feel vulnerable and exposed. The simple act of walking down the street wearing and showing off a little skin has transformed into a struggle of preserving one’s dignity and self-respect amidst the malicious stares, whistles, and chilling whispers of “hi miss” and “lab you teh”.
Growing up, I’ve gotten used to people dictating how I should present myself. I came from a Catholic school, where any kind of dress was seen as too “provocative” and shorts simply out of the question. I have relatives and even friends who never failed to give their two cents on my wardrobe preferences, constantly reminding me to prioritize safety over style and comfort.
Just recently, hosts of a popular noontime show casually threw sexist remarks on a contestant after she shared how she was sexually assaulted by her husband’s friend while they were drunk. “Umiinom ka na, naka-shorts ka pa,” was the host’s reply to a woman who had opened up on national TV about what had surely been one of the most humiliating and scarring moments of her life.
Our culture has embraced the norm that a woman’s choice of clothing is correlated to self-respect when in fact, the root of sexual assault has nothing to do with clothes, alcohol, or the amount of makeup a woman chooses to wear. Sexual assault is the result of the abhorrent desire to force sexual dominance on another person. It has everything to do with self-control.
Of course, let us not deny that times are changing, although not as quickly as we would like it to. Men have joined women in working toward female empowerment. More opportunities are now available for women to speak and be educated about the constant demoralization we face. And yet despite all our attempts at liberation, society continues to perpetuate sexism by normalizing male sexual violence; pointing its finger not at the rapist but at the victim’s shorts. The greatest tragedy here is that the people whom we should look up to are the frontrunners in this stigma.
Let’s cut to the chase. This is me speaking as a woman who simply wants to walk down the streets in that lovely dress she had saved up for and her favorite shade of lipstick, minus the stares and the catcalls. I’m a woman who just wants to have a good time with her friends, and still be able to go home safe and untouched. I am a woman who refuses to be blamed for the unfortunate circumstances sexism has caused her.
At the end of the day, women continue to be victims; victims who are blamed.
