When I was in high school, I used to walk home. It usually didn’t take long; it was a 15- to 20-minute walk, depending on my pace. Plus, I live in a gated community, so I knew that I would be safe.

But there were times when those 15 to 20 minutes felt like hours. You see, even if I was in my school uniform, which consisted of a blouse around one size too big and a skirt that fell more than three inches below my knee, I would still get “compliments” during my walks home.

These “compliments” ranged from unwanted stares to wolf whistles, to men on motorcycles and cars asking if I wanted a ride home.

The first time that it happened, I felt flattered. Maybe it was because I went to an all girls’ school and this was one of the few times that people of the opposite sex paid attention to me. But then it started happening again. And again. And again.

I know that I am not alone with these experiences. Some of my friends share stories of how they too were harassed on the street. It did not matter if they wore shorts and a tank top or a short skirt and a sleeveless shirt or a hoodie and jeans–they would still receive unwanted comments about how they looked.

A certain video has been making rounds on social media over the past month. Conceived as an advertisement for Hollaback, an organization that aims to fight street harassment, the video shows a young woman walking on the streets of New York for 10 hours. She was told that she had a nice body and that they wanted to take her home. One man even followed her for five minutes, not saying anything.

While the video only showed us a glimpse of the harassment she received, the message was clear: The minute women walk out in public, their physical appearance is all that matters. That women should feel grateful and flattered that men are paying attention to them. That the moment someone says that they have a nice body or that they have a pretty smile, women are expected to give them something in return.

The common counterargument seems to be that these comments are compliments. That women would not mind if they came from an attractive man. That women actually like being catcalled and wolf whistled. To that I say: There is nothing complimentary about being told that you have a nice smile and a beautiful face when you are just trying to get home. There is nothing complimentary about being followed for five blocks just because someone claims to want to get to know you. There is nothing complimentary about being killed just because you rejected someone’s advances.

This does not mean that men are banned from giving women compliments. But they should be aware that there is a difference between wishing someone a nice day and saying that they have a nice ass. Men should not be insulted when women do not say anything back, and they should not be defensive and insist that it is nothing more than a compliment when they get called out for it.

While the easy solution seems to be to suck it up and ignore street harassment, it should not be the only solution. Both genders should aim to create a safer environment for both men and women. Women should not be afraid to walk in their own neighborhoods.