#SoManyFeelings
sgarcia@theguidon.com
In one’s four- or five-year stay in this Jesuit university, one would expect that it would bear students that are able to think outside of themselves—human beings that tremble at the sight of the face of the other and its plight. This is not a farfetched and presumptuous claim to make, given the seemingly excessive amount of time we devote to theology and philosophy classes. However, it is rather disturbing to know and actually see that I am surrounded not by students that uphold this ideal, but rather by complacent and unmoved beings who personify the complete opposite.
I guess it’s safe to say: We are all hypocrites.
We go to a number of oral exams for these classes and exclaim how disturbed we are by the injustices and confusion surrounding us and that we wish to do something about it. Sadly, we all get out of our professors’ rooms without doing anything about it afterwards. All that happens is a sigh of relief that that ten-minute struggle has come to an end. Finally, we say, we can now return to our regular routines.
It feels like people who are unable to think deeper and act braver surround me. While people outside our ivory gates struggle daily, asking if they still have another day to live because they cannot afford to buy another kilo of rice, I know people whose worries are what to wear for the day or which car to take to school.
That reality is horrible to observe, and to be included and to participate in it is even more so.
In a Martial Law talk I attended for my history class, a photo was shown of a group of Ateneans who set up a rather pathetic looking barricade made out of branches as an act of defiance against the ruling government. The effort was noble, but one cannot shake off the feeling that we could still do more in the face of adversity. They dared to do something despite knowing that the Ateneo took drastic measures during that time just to keep operating. It is, however, depressing to note that this minority of people who acted is still a minority today.
The disbandment of IBIG-Agila is a testament to how this remains to be a fight that we do not know how to play. A mass resignation letter, which ultimately prompted its fall, cited irreconcilable differences between its top officers and some of its members. Being one of the signatories of that document, I now realize how—despite claiming that we all wanted to serve the community under the banner of servant-leadership—it still all relies on our personal positions and judgment if the whole relationship is to work. That individualism will be the death of our goals and us. And, indeed, it was.
Granted, there are a few who stand up to the challenge and actually commit to the fight. These groups receive acclaim not because they have finally begun providing an avenue for raising awareness and movement for people on campus, but because what they are doing feels so foreign amidst the parties and seminars that we always see promotions for.
I am not asking anyone to suddenly cry for a revolution against anything. Neither am I saying that one needs to involve oneself in an advocacy, sign-up for an outreach, nor look for a charity to sponsor. What I am asking is that we start thinking for the other—to stop feeling so entitled.
It’s about time we live up to the values of magis and cura personalis that we have started to throw as terms so carelessly around.
