Bewildered is all my friend was, after she was asked an apparently thought-provoking question by a guy she’s been going out with for quite some time now: “Should we go Facebook-official?”

If for some extraterrestrial reason, you aren’t aware of what the guy meant by this query, let me shed some light on the matter for you:

Facebook-official (adj.)

―As almost every person nowadays is caught up in the Facebook fad, a relationship is only considered legit if it is Facebook-official: updating your Facebook status to “In a Relationship with” followed by your significant other’s name.

Let’s face it. We are relentlessly bombarded with material, social, and symbolic circumstances that shape us into whatever we are. Working hand in hand with this fact, moreover, is the Standpoint Theory which claims that social groups are powerful influences on how we perceive and act in the world and that, in conjunction, individual experiences, knowledge and communication behaviors are shaped in large part by the social groups to which they belong.

The theory easily applies to the 21st century version of a social group—Mark Zuckerberg’s brainchild, and subject of the critically acclaimed movie, The Social Network: Facebook.

Facebook, like Twitter, MySpace, and other social networking sites, serves as a platform in which people can browse through details of their everyday encounters. It is in this online community wherein plugged-in people publicize their social worlds and represent themselves in those worlds, however they desire to. Contrary to what others might think, however, Facebook isn’t just a fancy adaptation of what’s happening in everyone’s lives. For some people, it is a vehicle for communication, canvas for expression, and a digital cocktail party for socializing all rolled into one.

With its giant sprawl of activity, commentary, and content, it comes to no surprise that Facebook has gradually turned itself into the new way of appealing to the opposite sex and a declaration of being serious with someone. A survey on a couple of my Facebook-active friends reveal the four of the most common practices in Facebook and, consequently, the potentially romantic purposes they serve.

Exhibit A: “Liking” someone’s picture

Aside from the obvious implication that a person likes your photo (whether it’s because of your face, your outfit, the composition of the image or whatnot), much more can be said about the act of pressing the “Like” button. In liking someone’s picture, especially his or her “DP,” we’re running the risk of saying “I find you attractive” online. Hence, if your significant other decides to “like” your photo, he/ she finds you pretty/ handsome and is thus boosting your self-confidence which, as I’ve only learned recently, is healthy for any relationship.

Exhibit B: Commenting on someone’s status

When your special someone comments on your status, the first thought that probably pops into your head is “Wow, he/ she knows I exist.” Come to think of it, taking the time to read whatever a person has to say is one thing, but letting that person know that you did by commenting is another. So if your significant other leaves a comment on your status, no matter what he/ she says, it simply means you are noticed, and that person isn’t the least bit ashamed to let others know.

“We are relentlessly bombarded with material, social and symbolic circumstances that shape us into whatever we are as of the moment.”

Exhibit C: Posting on someone’s wall

Here comes the best part—and by best, I mean the least subtle of all notifications. If someone posts anything on your wall (a link, photo, video or even the simplest message), given that it’s not a birthday greeting nor an important reminder for a group presentation, not only does that person notice you; he/ she wants you to notice back. Nothing screams “Remember me?” or “I miss you” louder than a wall post does.

Exhibit D: Making it Facebook-official

This brings me back to the dilemma of my good friend who, for privacy reasons, insists on remaining anonymous. As I was rummaging through my mind for the best possible advice I could offer her, all I ended up replying with was yet another question: “How serious are you with this guy?”

In all honesty, I have no idea why I found it necessary to ask her such a thing. Maybe it’s because knowing her, she wouldn’t like to be flooded with red number notifications signifying that others “like” her change in status. Maybe it’s because the thought of putting “In a Relationship with <insert name here>” in everyone’s News Feed can be terrifying. Maybe it’s because doing so translates to allowing her circle of friends to scrutinize her special someone. Maybe it’s because it would mean closing her doors on other possible relationships out there. Maybe it’s because if they break up some time in the future, one of them would have to take the initiative to break the bad news to others. Maybe it’s because it’s the deed of going Facebook-official that’s serious in itself.

Or maybe, it’s simply because our socially constructed world would’ve asked her the same question.

*With research from Kara R. Santiago