A troupe of girls in French maid outfits and guys in black ties and vests line up in front of me, and proclaim: “Okaerinasai, ojou-sama (Welcome home, young lady)!”

It would have been easy to imagine being served by my own assembly of maids and butlers if not for the other people waiting in line to be served. They remind me that I’m neither at home, nor have a throng of people waiting on me. I’m just one of the many customers attending the one-day event at the Dokissaten Maid and Butler Café in Rockwell, Makati City.

Here, coffee and tea is served by a cast of costume play (cosplay) enthusiasts dressed as lovely helpers ready to grant anything you want—as long as they’re within the realm of decency, and as long as you give tips.

Take your pick

Being the type of person who ignores salesladies and gives spare change as tips to waiters, the thought of being personally served unnerved me.

I line up at the front desk of the café to see the list of the participants with their pictures and profiles. The head butler of the café, Emile Tanglao—or “Emiru” to the customers—immediately greets me with the house rules.

“Whoever you choose will stay with you for an hour or more. The only thing they’ll do is entertain you,” he says. “Their job is to treat you as their master.”

It’s difficult to choose, but I end up with three choices for my butler-for-an-hour. Option A is a fashionista and a style guide. Option B holds a sinister fan in a gloved hand. Option C seems like your average guy.

I smile as I point to the picture of the one who suits me best. Option C it is.

‘Life stories’

Shido, my butler, is a young Japanese man who was kidnapped and brought to the Philippines. He managed to escape from his kidnappers and meet Emile by chance. Now he’s working at the café as Emile’s protégé. He’s also trying to save enough money to go back to Japan and see his parents again.

At least, that’s what he told me.

Each maid and butler in the café assumes a character, complete with a fictional background story, when they don their costumes. “You could make your characters similar to your personality or you could tweak it a little,” says senior Christa Uymatiao, a maid of the café during its first event last March at Kourtyard Kafé in Katipunan Avenue, Quezon City.

The café serves as the common thread among the maids’ and butlers’ otherwise unrelated quests. Christa portrayed a Chinese-Japanese girl who lost all her money in Las Vegas. As her story goes, a man gave her a chance to go home, but because of her clumsiness, she booked a ticket to the Philippines, where she wound up working at the Dokissaten Café.

To get into his character, my butler made sure to speak in Nihonggo. “Nihonggo wo wakarimasu ka (Do you understand Nihonggo?)” he asks me after handing over the menu. I reply, “Ah, chotto,” with a hand gesture that meant ‘a bit.’

Awkward silence settles as we wait for my meal, so Shido suggests a game of shiritori (a word chain game). When the food is served, however, Shido mechanically folds his hands in front of him, and assumes his role as my butler.

How can I serve you?

After my meal, Shido offers his special services—with special fees, of course. “I can sing or whistle a song for you,” he says, his demeanor suddenly changing from that of a polite gentleman to that of an eager boy. “I need money to see my parents. I haven’t seen them in so long.”

I know it wasn’t true and I notice that he’s trying to convince me by acting bashful. I may be stingy, yet I can’t help but comply.

We decide on the song he’ll whistle: a song from the Japanese drama One Litre of Tears. I ask him to sing and dance the theme of a popular anime, but he backs down. I don’t—or rather, I can’t—complain. Your maid or butler can do almost anything, but only if they’re willing.

The limits to what a customer and a server can do are made concrete in a contract that I had to sign. Aside from the fact that I’m not allowed to harass the maids and butlers, I can’t get their personal information either.

Given the nature of the work, and the staff, which consists of mostly young, attractive women, Emile says the maids and butlers can fall prey to indecent behavior from their customers.

“In a way, we are guest relations officers because we really talk to our guests,” he says. “We’re trying to show that we can do these things without the unwholesome stigma of ‘after this [is] sex.’ We’re just trying to give excellent service.”

Mark*, a butler of the café, says they do this for the entertainment, both for the customers and for themselves. “We’re not selling ourselves. Sometimes we even spend more than we earn. Even if we didn’t have salary, I think most of us will still be here,” he says. “We do this because it’s fun.”

Weird is the norm

Christa adds that aside from the fun of acting out a character, serving as a maid in the café allows her to express herself in different ways. “You get to practice your social skills,” she says. “To serve as a maid, you must be able to adapt to the customer. It’s practice for work in the future [where] you have to deal with all kinds of people.”

Despite experiencing awkward silences with Shido and losing in a game of jankenpon (rock-paper-scissors), my money is worth the service. As I say my goodbyes and bid good luck to my butler and his dream of going back home, a maid and a butler suddenly waltz to a silent tune as the customers cheer them on. Two butlers from different tables join in and waltz as well.

It would have been totally weird and random under different circumstances, but inside the café, it seemed perfectly normal.

* Name has been changed to protect the individual.