“Sex is just like another ordinary story to share,” says Nathan*, a 17 year-old Atenean who considers himself sexually liberated. He also says that, despite the Filipinos’ conservative beliefs on the conjugal act, one is free to choose whether to live by these practices.

“Hindi na naman [panahon ni] Maria Clara (It’s no longer Maria Clara’s time).”

Nathan isn’t the only Filipino who holds these principles. According to American College of Clinical Sexologists for Licensure Chairperson Dr. Jose Leyson, virginity isn’t upheld as a universal value in the same way it was before. The University of the Philippines Population Institute’s Young Adult Fertility and Sexuality Survey (YAFS-II) reveals that 18% of the Filipino youth (15-24 years of age) approve of premarital sex and 2% remain neutral toward it.

Its data also shows that 22% of the single male respondents and 2% of the single female respondents have had premarital sex. Meanwhile, 59% of the married male respondents and 35% of the married female respondents had made love with their respective spouses before marriage.

Despite the number of people that engage in premarital sex, not many support it. The said survey shows that 80% of the respondents still disapprove of intercourse before marriage. These figures can be attributed to the Catholic Church’s dominant influence over the Filipino society.

With the contrasting beliefs that have risen regarding sex and sexual liberation, where then should the Filipino youth, let alone the Atenean, be geared towards?

Free love

The term “sexual liberation” was predominantly used during the 1960s, with hippie culture at its peak. Formed as a youth movement in the United States in the late 1960s, the said culture preaches on the power of love and sex as “part of ordinary student life.” Along with psychedelic drugs, care for environment, and anti-war principles, it promoted sexual liberation, especially to the youth.

This gave way to the prominence of casual sex, the use of contraceptives, group sex, public sex, and homosexuality. During this era, it became acceptable in the US to have co-educational housing in its colleges. According to historian David Allyn, Ph.D., with societies becoming more open-minded and permissive, discussions of practices like masturbation and erotic fantasies became commonplace.

Says Theology Department Instructor Angelita Cancio, “The common understanding of sexual liberation seems to be the ability to remove all forms of restraints or barriers that have even a tinge of gender [difference] from behavior to values to sexual preference.”

Sexually liberated ¬ sexually active

Sexual liberation is such a broad term that it is difficult to categorize people as such. “You may believe that it is okay for women to choose what to do with their own bodies, to be pro-choice, but that doesn’t mean you’re for promiscuous sex,” says Psychology Department Assistant Professor Liane Alampay, Ph.D.

“It is difficult to try and lump all these different sexual attitudes and values together in one term.”

She adds that being sexually liberated does not always translate to being sexually active. Unlike a person who’s sexually active, one who’s sexually liberated doesn’t necessarily mean that the person engages in different sexual practices. Instead, sexual liberation refers to that person’s attitude toward the said act.

This is particularly true for Antoinette*, who does not mind talking about sex but admits that she has not done it yet. “I think it is okay to be sexually liberated,” she says. “[But], I know my limitations, and I keep a bit of [the Filipino beliefs on sex] in me.”

Casual talk

Nathan, meanwhile, admits to being sexually active and doesn’t mind talking about his escapades. Sex for him and his friends is a normal topic of conversation. They talk about how they are able to convince their partners to do it, or the places they have adventurously attempted to do it. “Whoever can do it in the most extreme [places], we’ll pay for all his expenses for a week.”

He is also able to share his experiences to his parents. “They know I’m not [a virgin anymore].”

“It is natural and people enjoy it. There is nothing bad in talking about it,” says Antoinette. “It just depends on the context of what you are saying.”

Antoinette adds that she is not ashamed to be sexually liberated despite belonging to a conservative society like the Philippines. Having studied in another country before entering the university, Antoinette says that Philippine culture is different from the culture she came from – it doesn’t accept liberal attitudes toward sex. “People [here] think that girls should keep their purity and be old-fashioned,” she says.

Ambivalent take

Despite the developments relating to sexual liberation, the Filipino society remains divided as to which sexual beliefs and practices to uphold. Says Alampay, “On the one hand, we have sectors in society that are more liberated, but other sectors are very conservative.”

“Our young people certainly cannot talk about it in their homes, with their parents,” she says. “There are still a lot of taboos or unmentionables.”

“When we talk about it and there are people around who are naive, they think you’re a pervert,” says Julin*, who considers herself sexually liberated, in Filipino.

Gender may also be a factor as to why there are contrasting views on sexual liberation. According to a 2006 study conducted by the International Family Planning Perspectives, males in the Philippines are encouraged to engage in sexual activities and, thus, are allowed more sexual freedom. Meanwhile, females are expected to be more conservative than the males and controlling as to setting the limits of their sexual acts.

Besides these factors, religion plays a big role in the development of sexual liberation in the country. Says Cancio, “Religion is always a factor in culture and, so far, almost all Filipinos believe in God or Allah. Historically, these religious values have been interwoven into Filipino culture which has been exposed to modern Western culture in the last century.”

She adds that it has been only 30 to 50 years since the Western culture has “dramatically eschewed its Christian moorings.”

Cancio, who believes that sexual liberation is being comfortable and content with who a person is, says that this idea doesn’t go against any Church teaching. Looking at it from the common understanding, however, it may depend on the issues that people view as “expressions of sexual liberation.”

“For example, if sexual liberation [strives] for the equality of men and women, [then it doesn’t go against any teaching],” she says. “But, if sexual liberation is taken to [mean the] women’s right to abort an unwanted pregnancy, [then it goes against the Church].”

Healthy talking

With the misconceptions surrounding sexual liberation, Alampay stresses the need for adults to guide the young people in correctly understanding their identity. “[The youth] really have no other venues to explore sex and sexuality, so they do it with peers,” she says. “They go to the Internet… watch [the TV show] Gossip Girl, and they get their ideas about sex in these venues.”

Cancio has also observed a growing thinking that the Church is one that promotes “values not fit to today’s society.” Cancio emphasizes on how erroneous the people’s view has become. “The Church does not exist to conform to man’s world and values, but rather it is to signify God’s presence and involvement in the world.”

She adds that the youth shouldn’t irresponsibly treat beliefs and practices relating to sexual liberation just because of its many misunderstood concepts. Says Cancio, “I hope that students understand the true meaning of freedom and make the right choices.”

Despite it being misunderstood, being sexual liberated – if carefully studied – is healthy. “It’s healthy to acknowledge our sexuality, to have spaces to talk about it and express it,” says Alampay.

Although Marie* holds onto conservative beliefs regarding sex, she doesn’t mind when other people share their more liberated beliefs. “It’s the way they were brought up,” she says. “And I respect that.”

“You can think about sex in a mature way. It depends on how you approach it.”

For Antoinette, her being sexually liberated is something she’s very proud of. She says, “If you are sexually liberated and people know that you are, they don’t have the right to judge you.”

Says Alampay, “It is part of who we are, and that we should have opportunities to discuss, to talk, to think about it without feeling that it is wrong, it’s dirty, [that] it’s a sin.”

*Names have been changed to protect the individuals.