IN MANY languages, using gendered pronouns has become the norm when identifying oneself. For people who are gender non-conforming, especially those who struggle to embrace their identity, the singular “they” has provided a gender-neutral alternative in place of pronouns such as “he” or “she.” However, despite Merriam-Webster’s recognition of the singular they as their word of the year in 2019, the pronoun continues to be trivialized more than ever.
With lesbian, bisexual, gay, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ+) issues at the forefront of mainstream discourse, gender-neutral language has become a powerful tool in providing awareness on gender fluidity and empowering those who don’t identify within the gender binary.
Their singular history
Although the singular they has become synonymous with expressing gender neutrality, the pronoun’s history dates back to as early as 1375 and was notably used by prominent authors such as William Shakespeare and Jane Austen. University of Michigan Linguistics professor Daniel Davis, PhD, states that despite its established usage, 17th-century grammarians opposed the use of the singular they because it broke the rule that plural pronouns—which “they” is conventionally classified as—should only be used for plural nouns.
With this grammatical convention followed to this day, it remains difficult for the singular they to be widely accepted in the academe. English Department professor Isabel Martin, PhD, says that this can also be observed in the Philippines where “there is a tendency…to be too focused on grammatical accuracy.” Davis adds that the English language system requires people to put extra emphasis on gendered programs, thus resulting in “[policing] the cultural spaces created by the language, even more than the language itself requires.”
In addition, the usage of the singular they continues to be stigmatized despite how it serves as an avenue to signify one’s own non-conformity to the gender binary. Graduate student Roman*, who identifies themselves using the pronouns they and them, has witnessed how the use of gender-neutral language can be invalidated on social media: “A lot of people online tend to cyberbully celebrities and persons who come out to use they/them pronouns, arguing that it’s something people do for attention, or that they are narcissists [who] enjoy interrupting other people to tell them how to correctly use their pronouns.”
These prejudices, whether in the academe or in social settings, point to a need to reevaluate how ridiculing gender-neutral language could constrain other’s gender expression.
Breaking the binary
Oftentimes, the contempt attached to gender expression can be traced to how society reacts to those who identify with they/them. Roman cites some examples, saying that those who are gender non-conforming face “social exclusion, bullying, [and] erasure [that]…forces them to perform gender anxiously.” Despite the discrimination against those who are gender non-conforming, Roman still believes that gender-neutral pronouns enable those who use the singular they to have better claim over their identity.
Camp Queer member Luther Aquino also argues that gender-neutral language disrupts the existing order of things by surpassing “socially constructed performances of gender.” “It is so important for LGBTQ+ people to have the language to talk to themselves, and amongst themselves, in a way that is cognizant of their experiences and in a way that is hopeful for a better future,” Aquino says. As the gender non-conforming continue to navigate the intricacies of language and identity, the rest of society is then called to afford more empathy to those who proudly identify as they/them.
*Editor’s Note: The name of the interviewee has been changed at their request in order to protect their identity and privacy.
